Learning your limitations

All my life I had to be very independent and yet now life makes me very dependent on others. In the last few years, that need has grown exponentially. I’ve started having neurological issues and was diagnosed with peripheral neuropathy of both upper and lower limbs. Before that I had had two ankle surgeries to correct issues that has plagued me since I was a teenager. I’ve had more medical surgeries, tests, and appointments in the last four years that I’ve had all my entire life…forty seven years! My mobility is limited. I’m not allowed to lift more than ten pounds which means technically I should never pick up a single one of many grandchildren. I can’t pull or push things that are too heavy as it strains my back that is now (as the doctor describes) a ‘ticking time bomb’ because in the last year and a half my L5-S1 has gone from minor to severe with issues. I

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Then and Now

I’m sure you are wondering why I use such vague titles. Well, the shorter the title the shorter the URL. That’s really why! Plus it intrigues people and then they tend to want to see what I’m up to! In relation to my social media life Then… I was very quite about politics and religion on all social media platforms. Kept to sharing basic emotions and nothing too high on the scale of creating a stir. I always felt religion and politics were fire intensive and didn’t want to kick the hornets nest. Now… I post about everything. The whole point about this blog was for readers to get to know me…the real me. The me behind the pages of my work, behind the closed door of my life. To know me is to know my passions and understand why I write the way I do. I’m temperamental, easily triggered (although not as much as even ten years ago), and

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Be a beautiful soul…

In our everyday lives we do things that we may not realize. Hurtful things to others without even thinking. Have you ever said there was a job you would not do? Or you won’t sit by someone in a business because they look sketchy or untrusting? Every made fun of someone cause of the way they looked or something was different about them? Those are the things that are hurtful. One person is only better than another if their soul is more loving, forgiving, and accepting. For NO other reason is one person better than another. No two people are identical. I recently posted about conformity almost killing my soul – and then we have those who “make fun of” others for not being like them. We ARE all on different paths with different goals. Always remember that the person next to you is a human, just like you! I remember as a pre-teen there was a guy who bullied

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Longevity

This weeks #52Ancestors prompt is about longevity… the oldest relative you had or something along that lines. While, I know I am a day or so behind I’ve had this topic on my mind trying to determine who’d I consider. I thought of all the ones who have passed on and their lives. The ones who died young. The ones who died after a long life. I considered all the ones I had known and the ones I only knew through documentation, pictures, and family tales. I considered all the men and all the women. The choices were many considering we have information on our ancestors to the 1400s and even further back. So I decided to choose a person who had a great impression on my life. I choose to talk about Shirley Ann Mills. Born June 24, 1934, in Everett, Washington she grew up with one sister and from I have been told had a full and loving

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What they expect

I bet you read that title and was thinking “What in the world is she even saying?”  🙂 It’s okay, that is the exact sort of confusion I wanted to convey?  Ok, who is they and why do they expect anything? Here is a short poem I wrote as a teen to get us started… Everyone loves my hair, Loves my eyes, Loves my lips, Loves my thighs and my hips But why oh Lord can’t I agree As I go on this shopping spree. Clothes here and there As I look, others stare, Am I thin or am I fat Oh my lord can you answer that. I look at this and wish I could wear it Look at my wallet and wish I could bear it. Oh dear lord can I ever have my way Will my weight please me someday? This was written in the mid-’80’s, yes I am that old. But if you really read the

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Nevermore…

 And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;     And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon’s that is dreaming,     And the lamp-light o’er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor; And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor             Shall be lifted—nevermore! – Edgar Allen Poe Now, I’m sure I didn’t need to tell you that was Poe’s last verse of The Raven… however, this poem is what changed me. Okay, all of Poe’s work changed me. He was dark and even mysterious in his ways and this helped me be okay with my own darkness. You see we all have demons we battle, here Poe is obviously battling the loss of Lenore and that demon was harsh on him. My battles are near similar and yet different enough to be my own unique ones. I let my demons

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As a mom…life has taught me-

Growing up we never consider a whole lot about how we are going to out achieve our parents, well not everyone. I always wanted to prove myself and do more than my parents, be more than my parents. With this as my mindset growing up, it overflowed into my adult life and having kids of my own. I wanted, dreamed, and expected all my children to want to be better than me, do better than me…achieve more than I have. Well, life has a funny way of doing what it wants and teaching you that YOU are NOT IN CHARGE. How? By putting your kids on paths you never expected or did your damnedest to prevent. I grew up believing I was no good, that I wasn’t good enough…and other such things. I swore at an early age I’d do things my parents didn’t… like graduate high school and college. I did achieve both and so much more. I am

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