All my life I had to be very independent and yet now life makes me very dependent on others.
In the last few years, that need has grown exponentially. I’ve started having neurological issues and was diagnosed with peripheral neuropathy of both upper and lower limbs. Before that I had had two ankle surgeries to correct issues that has plagued me since I was a teenager. I’ve had more medical surgeries, tests, and appointments in the last four years that I’ve had all my entire life…forty seven years!
My mobility is limited. I’m not allowed to lift more than ten pounds which means technically I should never pick up a single one of many grandchildren. I can’t pull or push things that are too heavy as it strains my back that is now (as the doctor describes) a ‘ticking time bomb’ because in the last year and a half my L5-S1 has gone from minor to severe with issues. I can’t walk a mile without major pain. I can’t run or jog or jump, not even squat! I’m not able to sit or stand for long periods of time…and can barely lay on one side or my back without being in pain.
This lesson is a hard one to learn. I’ve had to accept that I am no longer the stronger version of myself that I once was, at least physically.
The lesson I am learning is that no matter what life was it will never stay the same and that at some point you will have to depend on others to help you.