I bet you read that title and was thinking “What in the world is she even saying?”
🙂 It’s okay, that is the exact sort of confusion I wanted to convey?
Ok, who is they and why do they expect anything?
Here is a short poem I wrote as a teen to get us started…
Everyone loves my hair,
Loves my eyes,
Loves my lips,
Loves my thighs and my hips
But why oh Lord can’t I agree
As I go on this shopping spree.
Clothes here and there
As I look, others stare,
Am I thin or am I fat
Oh my lord can you answer that.
I look at this and wish I could wear it
Look at my wallet and wish I could bear it.
Oh dear lord can I ever have my way
Will my weight please me someday?
This was written in the mid-’80’s, yes I am that old. But if you really read the words you can see that while everyone loves her and her appearance she can’t seem to love herself. Why is that? To be frank, because of what everyone expects from her! Everyone wanted her to be some sort of way but no one asked her what she wanted.
Yes, this was written about me. I was expected to dress a certain way, weigh a certain weight, had to wear my hair and makeup as expected. Now, as a teen that was a huge struggle because some things I could do and others well genetics played a role so yeah, there was not a lot of choices there.
Here is the problem with this… Society tells you how to dress, act, and love a certain way – among a few of the expectations. BUT did society ask how you felt about that? Did you want to dress that way? Go to that school? Or have that career?
I use the word society but let’s break this down even further… family! Ah yes, we are going in deep! Moms and Dads are some of the greatest culprits when it comes to “structuring” what a kid is to do or not do… What if that girl doesn’t want to wear a dress and be in a pageant? What if that boy doesn’t want to be a jock? What if your child doesn’t want to do what you do when they grow up or what you want them to do?
This is where it all starts – We must be understanding and compassionate that each of us is different. We will NOT all want the same things and that… is okay!
It took me decades to realize that being myself was okay. Now, that I have made that discovery, my soul couldn’t be happier.
*This poem is included in the collection I published in 2014 called The Shadow of the Mind’s Heart. It is available only on Amazon.